Old Age

Subj: FW: Old age
















Getting there...inch by inch and day by day!! (Smile)









Just in case any of you ever meet any old people, this will help you
understand them a little bit better . . .




Very funny story ........enjoy


This is a story by David McClure from the Dallas News
Community Opinion page.



$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me.
I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and
something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid
a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change
when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever
said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen
discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change
hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I
stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet - a mere child! Senior
citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong
with Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil.
Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I
strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front
of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?


"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter
disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys
behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the
ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried
another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging
from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview
mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back
seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten
doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.
Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally
be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it,
deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and
churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be
found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the
restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black
nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I
could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I
was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go
straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young
lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding
up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my
truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and
sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like
this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I
was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer,
I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I
handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat
in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky..

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

Healthy food chart

Thanks Dan!

Sam
----- Original Message -----
From: Dan Baird
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Sent: Sunday, August 02, 2009 5:20 PM
Subject: Awesome Healthy Food chart



Awesome Healthy Food chart


This chart is awesome! Everyone can use it. Please pass it on to others.
Share this Chart with everyone
Apples Protects your heart prevents constipation Blocks diarrhea Improves lung capacity Cushions joints
Apricots Combats cancer Controls blood pressure Saves your eyesight Shields against Alzheimer's Slows aging process
Artichokes Aids digestion Lowers cholesterol Protects your heart Stabilizes blood sugar Guards against liver disease
Avocados Battles diabetes Lowers cholesterol Helps stops strokes Controls blood pressure Smoothes skin
Bananas Protects your heart Quiets a cough Strengthens bones Controls blood pressure Blocks diarrhea
Beans Prevents constipation Helps hemorrhoids Lowers cholesterol Combats cancer Stabilizes blood sugar
Beets Controls blood pressure Combats cancer Strengthens bones Protects your heart Aids weight loss
Blueberries Combats cancer Protects your heart Stabilizes blood sugar Boosts memory Prevents constipation
Broccoli Strengthens bones Saves eyesight Combats cancer Protects your heart Controls blood pressure
Cabbage Combats cancer Prevents constipation Promotes weight loss Protects your heart Helps hemorrhoids
Cantaloupe Saves eyesight Controls blood pressure Lowers cholesterol Combats cancer Supports immune system
Carrots Saves eyesight Protects your heart Prevents constipation Combats cancer Promotes weight loss
Cauliflower Protects against Prostate Cancer Combats Breast Cancer Strengthens bones Banishes bruises Guards against heart disease
Cherries Protects your heart Combats Cancer Ends insomnia Slows aging process Shields against Alzheimer's
Chestnuts Promotes weight loss Protects your heart Lowers cholesterol Combats Cancer Controls blood pressure
Chili peppers Aids digestion Soothes sore throat Clears sinuses Combats Cancer Boosts immune system
Figs Promotes weight loss Helps stops strokes Lowers cholesterol Combats Cancer Controls blood pressure
Fish Protects your heart Boosts memory Protects your heart Combats Cancer Supports immune system
Flax Aids digestion Battles diabetes Protects your heart Improves mental health Boosts immune system
Garlic Lowers cholesterol Controls blood pressure Combats cancer kills bacteria Fights fungus
Grapefruit Protects against heart attacks Promotes Weight loss Helps stops strokes Combats Prostate Cancer Lowers cholesterol
Grapes saves eyesight Conquers kidney stones Combats cancer Enhances blood flow Protects your heart
Green tea Combats cancer Protects your heart Helps stops strokes Promotes Weight loss Kills bacteria
Honey Heals wounds Aids digestion Guards against ulcers Increases energy Fights allergies
Lemons Combats cancer Protects your heart Controls blood pressure Smoothes skin Stops scurvy
Limes Combats cancer Protects your heart Controls blood pressure Smoothes skin Stops scurvy
Mangoes Combats cancer Boosts memory Regulates thyroid aids digestion Shields against Alzheimer's
Mushrooms Controls blood pressure Lowers cholesterol Kills bacteria Combats cancer Strengthens bones
Oats Lowers cholesterol Combats cancer Battles diabetes prevents constipation Smoothes skin
Olive oil Protects your heart Promotes Weight loss Combats cancer Battles diabetes Smoothes skin
Onions Reduce risk of heart attack Combats cancer Kills bacteria Lowers cholesterol Fights fungus
Oranges Supports immune systems Combats cancer Protects your heart Straightens respiration

Peaches prevents constipation Combats cancer Helps stops strokes aids digestion Helps hemorrhoids
Peanuts Protects against heart disease Promotes Weight loss Combats Prostate Cancer Lowers cholesterol Aggravates
Diverticulitis
Pineapple Strengthens bones Relieves colds Aids digestion Dissolves warts Blocks diarrhea
Prunes Slows aging process prevents constipation boosts memory Lowers cholesterol Protects against heart disease
Rice Protects your heart Battles diabetes Conquers kidney stones Combats cancer Helps stops strokes
Strawberries Combats cancer Protects your heart boosts memory Calms stress

Sweet potatoes Saves your eyesight Lifts mood Combats cancer Strengthens bones

Tomatoes Protects prostate Combats cancer Lowers cholesterol Protects your heart

Walnuts Lowers cholesterol Combats cancer boosts memory Lifts mood Protects against heart disease
Water Promotes Weight loss Combats cancer Conquers kidney stones Smoothes skin

Watermelon Protects prostate Promotes Weight loss Lowers cholesterol Helps stops strokes Controls blood pressure
Wheat germ Combats Colon Cancer prevents constipation Lowers cholesterol Helps stops strokes improves digestion
Wheat bran Combats Colon Cancer prevents constipation Lowers cholesterol Helps stops strokes improves digestion
Yogurt Guards against ulcers Strengthens bones Lowers cholesterol Supports immune systems Aids digestion

7 don'ts after a meal

* Don't smoke-Experiment from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher). &nbs p; &nb sp;
* Don't eat fruits immediately - Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore take fruit 1-2 hr after meal or 1 hr before meal.

* Don't drink tea - Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the Protein content in the food we consume to be hardened thus difficult to digest.

* Don't loosen your belt - Loosening the belt after a meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted &blocked.

* Don't bathe - Bathing will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs & body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease. This will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.
* Don't walk about - People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.
* Don't sleep immediately - The food we intake will not be able to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric & infection in our intestine.

The times we live in

Thanks Dr. Hovermale!

Subject: FW: The times we live in









Not much more I can add....

Ed McMahon died. He was a great entertainer, but prior to his stage
accomplishments he was a distinguished Marine Corps fighter pilot in WWII
earning six Air Medals and attaining the rank of Colonel. He was discharged
in 1946 and was later promoted to the rank of Brigadier General in the CA
Air National Guard.

Farrah Fawcett died after a long career in Hollywood as an actress. After
she was diagnosed with cancer, she became an activist for cancer treatment
and devoted her last remaining years encouraging people to seek treatment
She documented her plight on film and used it to encourage others to stay
positive and upbeat despite their diagnosis and suffering.

Michael Jackson died. Aside from his singing and dancing, he will also be
remembered for his eccentric lifestyle that included sleeping with a
chimpanzee, living in a carnival-like atmosphere at Neverland, his
fascination with Peter Pan, and his numerous masks and costumes. He also
admitted to finding pleasure sleeping with young boys and paying out
millions of dollars in settlements to the families of these boys despite
being acquitted by a court on one allegation of sexual molestation.

QUESTION - Which of the above did the House of Representatives declare a
moment of silence for today? (Hint - It wasn't the first two..)

QUESTION - Which of the above's family received a personal note of
condolence from President Obama? (Hint - It wasn't the first two.)

Pathetic, isn't it.

Saddened that we elders are dieing off.

There is so much that I see as ill in this world today. I remain thankful to the God that sent his son, Jesus, to walk among us. He faced terrible death and there will be more unearned sadness before the end. Yet He was good throughout his relatively short life and strong until his end on earth. The stone was rolled away and He walked among the people again.

May our great God in Heaven bless us all.

The Joy of Muslim Women

From: Deloris S.

Sam


MORE food for thought!...


NOTE: This author is interviewed quite often on TV and radio, and is quite articulate ... and authentic.

Joys of Muslim Women by Nonie Darwish
In the Muslim faith a Muslim man can marry a child as young as 1 year old and have sexual intimacy with this child, consummating the marriage by age 9. The dowry is given to the family in exchange for the woman (who becomes his slave) and for the purchase of the private parts of the woman, to use her as a toy. Even though a woman is abused she can not obtain a divorce. To prove rape, the woman must have (4) male witnesses. Often after a woman has been raped, she is returned to her family and the family must return the dowry. The family has the right to execute her (an honor killing) to restore the honor of the family. Husbands can beat their wives 'at will' and he does not have to say why he has beaten her. The husband is permitted to have (4 wives) and a temporary wife for an hour (prostitute) at his discretion. The Shariah Muslim law controls the private as well as the public life of the woman. In the West World (America) Muslim men are starting to demand Shariah Law so the wife can not obtain a divorce and he can have full and complete control of her. It is amazing and alarming how many of our sisters and daughters attending American Universities are now marrying Muslim men and submitting themselves and their children unsuspectingly to the Shariah law. By passing this on, enlightened American women may avoid becoming a slave under Shariah Law. Learn More..... Read: Cruel and Usual Punishment just released in most bookstores. Ripping the West in Two. Author and lecturer Nonie Darwish says the goal of radical Islamists is to impose Shariah law on the world, ripping Western law and liberty in two. She recently authored the book, Cruel and Usual Punishment: The Terrifying Global Implications of Islamic Law. Darwish was born in Cairo and spent her childhood in Egypt and Gaza before emigrating to America in 1978. When she was eight years old, her father died while leading covert attacks on Israel. He was a high- ranking Egyptian military officer stationed with his family in Gaza. When he died, he was considered a "shahid," a martyr for jihad. His posthumous status earned Nonie and her family an elevated position in Muslim society. But Darwish developed a skeptical eye at an early age. She questioned her own Muslim culture and upbringing. She converted to Christianity after hearing a Christian preacher on television. In her latest book, Darwish warns about creeping sharia law - what it is, what it means, and how it is manifested in Islamic countries. For the West, she says radical Islamists are working to impose sharia on the world. If that happens, Western civilization will be destroyed. In twenty years there will be enough Muslim voters in the U.S. to elect the President! I think everyone in the U.S. should be required to read this, but with the ACLU, there is no way this will be widely publicized, unless each of us sends it on! This is your chance to make a difference....!

I asked for and received this...

Yesterday was a good day for the SamKat. Dr. Welling and his team put a cochlear implant with inner sound processor in place very successfully at University Hospital at OSU. It will be a few weeks before Brenda Hall, audiologist puts on the external sound processor and gets me to using the hearing system. I am euphoric!

SamKat


Adjective
•S: (adj) euphoric (exaggerated feeling of well-being or elation) WordNet home page

WordNet Search - 3.0 - WordNet home page - Glossary - Help

I asked for this...

I will be 77 years old in November.

In a few short hours, I will be prepped for an operation. Don't feel sorry for me because I asked for this. Drilling a dime-sized hole through my skull bone, a great doctor and his team will use all of his and their skills in implanting a wire with twenty-four channels into my cochlea. Dr. Welling will also place a sound receptor base just under my skin on the right side of my head. After one or more visits with an excellent audiologist, Brenda Hall, in September, she will place the external sound receptor with a wire to another, larger, behind-the-ear hearing aid. I will begin a new method of hearing- by means of a coclear implant. The wires will serve as nerves to send sound messages to my brain. There will be therapy sessions by Brenda. Maybe six sessions. Having the operation and follow-up sessions here in Columbus will save a lot of route 71 trips back and forth to Cincinnati.

I used to teach math at Columbus State Community College, but, due to my poor hearing, even with the best digital hearing aids and a pocket talker, I am now merely able to tutor in the math lab of Developmental Education there. I hope to be able to teach once more with my cochlear implant.

At any rate, Jeanie's life should be a bit easier as I can only fake not hearing her sound advice.

I might even hear a bit of the conversations with friends in a restaurant. That is a thing of the past for me right now, but I look forward to improvement in the future.

I might even be able to pick an interesting subject to me, and interview extraordinary people, as I have in the past, but then with my limited hearing ability.

I am not scared of this operation. I expect full success by this surgeon and his assistants. Dr. Matthew Bush, an alumnus of the great University of Kentucky, will be there in the operation room. Dr. Bush is an instantly made friend of only a couple of weeks ago. He told Jeanie and me that the operation by either Dr. Penzak of the University of Cincinnati or Dr. Bradley Welling of the Ohio State University, should expect equal success. A few moments later Dr. Welling, advised us that he would perform the operation on July 28 and this is the day.

I am going back to bed and sleep now for another hour. We must be at University Hospital by 5:30 and the operation proceeds at 7:30.

God has so many more important things to do today, but I seek his mercy on this sinner. I want to be able to hear again. Let us begin and thanks in advance for your prayers.

SamKat