FW-Black robbers Thanks Dr. Hovermale!

Subject: FW: Black Robbers (Hilarious)

I just love this one!

 

BLACK ROBBERS (A True Story) 

For anyone who didn't see the episode of David Letterman's show where this story was told, read this:  (And remember it's a true story...) 
 
On a recent weekend in Atlantic City , a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine.  She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room.  'I'll be right back and we'll go to eat' she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator.  As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was very tall and had an intimidating figure. The woman froze. Her first thought was: 'These two are going to rob me.' Her next thought was: 'Don't be a bigot; they look like perfectly nice gentlemen.' But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her.

Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as they closed.  A second passed, and then another second, and then another. Her fear increased! The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her. 'My God' she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed!

Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore.  Then one of the men said, 'Hit the floor.' Instinct told her to do what they told her.  The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained down on her.

'Take my money and spare me', she prayed.  More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say politely, 'Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll push the button.'  The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh. The woman lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down to help her up.

Confused, she struggled to her feet. 'When I told my friend here to hit the floor,' said the average sized one, I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am.' He spoke genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing.

The woman thought: 'My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself.'  She was too humiliated to speak. The three of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her bucket.  When the elevator arrived at her floor they then insisted on walking her to her room. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor.

At her door they bid her a good evening.  As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator. The woman brushed herself off. She pulled herself together and went downstairs for dinner with her husband.  The next morning flowers were delivered to her room; a dozen roses.  Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred-dollar bill.  The card said: 'Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years.





�
It was signed: Eddie Murphy & Michael Jordan.

IN GOD WE TRUST
God Bless our TROOPS!

Kentucky History Lesson from Dr. Ralph Hovermale

Every now & then you people who left KY need a lesson!

This is as good as it ever gets, enjoy.
History Lesson on  Kentucky

For those of you who live in  Kentucky you might find this interesting.. 

And for those of you who don't, YOU might also find this interesting. 

Today's history lesson! 

 

1792 -  Kentucky was the first state on the western frontier to join the Union .

 

1816 - (first promoted)  Mammoth   Cave , with 336+ miles of mapped passages, is the world's longest cave.  It is 379 feet deep and contains at least 5 levels of passages..  It's second only to  Niagara Falls as the most popular tourist attraction in the  US ...  It became a National Park on July 1, 1941. 

  

1856 - The first enamel bathtub was made in  Louisville ..

  

1883 - The first electric light bulb was shown in  Louisville .  Thomas Alva Edison introduced his invention to crowds at the Southern Exposition. 

  

1887 - Mother's Day was first observed in  Henderson by teacher Mary S. Wilson .  It became a national holiday in 1916. 

  

1893 - 'Happy Birthday to You', probably the most sung song in the world, was written by two  Louisville sisters - Mildred and Patricia Hill. 

  

Late 19th century - Bibb lettuce was first cultivated by Jack Bibb in Frankfort , Kentucky 

1896 - The first (known) set of all male quintuplets was born in  Paducah . 

  

1934 - Cheeseburgers were first tasted at Kaelin's Restaurant in  Louisville . 

  

1937 - The first Wigwam Village Motel, with units in the shape of a 'teepee', was built by Frank A. Redford in Cave City .  

 

 1946 - Dave Durr born in Kentucky

The world's largest baseball bat, a full one hundred twenty (120) feet tall and weighing 68,000 pounds, can be seen at the  Louisville   Slugger Museum in  Louisville (Jefferson Co.). 

  

Chevrolet Corvettes are manufactured only in Bowling Green .  

 

Covington (St. Mary's Cathedral-Basilica of the Assumption) is home to the world's largest hand blown stained glass window in existence.

It measures an astounding 24 feet by 67 feet and contains 117 different figures. 

  

The world's largest crucifix, standing at sixty (60) feet tall, is in Bardstown (Nelson Co.).

  

Fort Knox holds more than $6 billion worth of gold - the largest amount stored anywhere in the world.  

 

The JIF plant in  Lexington is the world's largest peanut butter producing facility. 

  

Kentucky has more resort parks than any other state in the nation. 

  

Middlesboro is the only United States city built inside a meteor crater..  CHECKED IT OUT ON GOOGLE EARTH. APPEARS TO BE ABOUT 4 1/4 MILES ACROSS AND 360 FEET DEEP.

Newport is home to The World Peace Bell, the world's largest free-swinging bell. 

  

Pike County is the world's largest producer of coal. 

  

Pikeville annually leads the nation (per capita) in consumption of Pepsi-Cola. 

  

Post-It Notes are made exclusively in Cynthiana , KY. 

  

Shaker Village ( Pleasant Hill ) is the largest historic community of its kind in the United States 

  

Christian County is 'wet', while  Bourbon   County is 'dry'. 

('wet 'sells liquor; 'dry' does not) 

  

Barren County has the most fertile land in the state. 

  

Lake Cumberland has more miles of shoreline than the state of  Florida .. 

  

Kentucky is best known for its beautiful blue grass.  And, let us not forget about the basketball and the Race Horses !!

And Sunny California is no longer where the beautiful people come from, its from under the Blue Moon of Kentucky where many of em start! Turns out us Hillbillies are Mighty Purdy to Y'all!! :

Celebrities Born and/or raised in KY:

George Clooney (Sexiest Man Alive)
Johnny Depp (Sexiest Man Alive)
Tom Cruise (Sexiest Man Alive)
Ashley Judd (one of the sexiest women alive!)

Nick Lachey
Kevin Ricardson (Backstreet Boy)
Brian Litrell (Backstreet Boy)
Lee Majors
Muhammad Ali
Victor Mature
Annie Potts (Designing Women)
Sean Young
Dwight Yoakam (singer/actor; Slingblade, Roswell ,Panic Room)
Diane Sawyer
John Carpenter (Director)
Ned Beatty (Back to School, Deliverance, Life)
Harry Dean Stanton (Molly Ringwald¢s Dad in Pretty in Pink)
Florence Henderson (Mrs Brady)
Billy Ray Cyrus (thus his daughter "Hannah Montana"....once removed!)
Chuck Woolery
James Best (sheriff on Dukes of Hazard)
Charles Napier ("Bureaucrat tryin to save his ass" in Rambo II)
Don Everly
Naomi Judd
Winona Judd
Bill Monroe (Father of Bluegrass )
Tom T. HAll
John Michael Montgomery
Loretta Lynn (First Lady of Country Music)
Dwain Messer
Patti Loveless
Ricky Skaggs
Keith Whitley
Rosemary Clooney

The Trollinger Brothers

Just to name a few...
And then there more interesting things about this state..............For example, Below are some  'rules for rural ' Kentucky '. 

                                   

         

 THE  RULES  OF  RURAL  Kentucky  ARE  AS  FOLLOWS:  

 

Listen  up  City  Slickers!  

  

1.  Pull your droopy pants up.  You look like an idiot.  

  

2.  Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.  

  

3.  Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.'  I drive a pickup truck because I want to.  No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus.  Drive it or get out of the way.  

  

4.  They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it?  Rt.. 80 goes east and west, I-75 goes north and south. Pick one.  

  

5.  So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.  

  

6.  So every person in  Southern Kentucky waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.  

 

7.  If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.  

  

8.  Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & cornbread. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available, at the corner bait shop.  

 

9.  The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.  

 

10.  We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age. 

  

11.  No,  there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu.  Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

 

 

12.  When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.. 

 

13.  You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.  

 

14.  You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.  

 

15.  We have a whole ton of folks in the Army,  Navy,  Air Force,  and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best..  

 

16.  Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.  

 

17.  4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't  Alaska, worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the next day.  

 

18.  Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. ... It's about learning to dance in the rain! 

 

A true Kentuckian will send this on.

Wondering from, the old Trojan Warrior!

Sam, do you remember the old advisory'" Run for the round house , Nellie, he can't cornner you there.". I ,now at almost 84, find my self in the same postion as the fellow who spoke to his doctor about a new delemna, " Doc, I can remember chasing those good looking women, but I can't remember what it was we did with 'em after we caught one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JackH Plymale


On Tue, Jan 11, 2011 at 1:36 PM, Sam Kegley wrote:



SamKat

The Blog of Sam Kegley.



Welcome

Welcome to my blog. Feel free to browse and comment on my posts! You may also scroll down to respond to any post.







Blog Definition

On Line Blog Definition

Google-Blog Definitionblog, short for web log, an online, regularly updated journal or newsletter that is readily accessible to the general public by virtue of being posted on a website.





Tuesday, January 11, 2011

RE-Thanks for the weather warning Sam! Juanita Elliott

Labels Family, Friends, Portsmouth

My brother, Jim, mentioned knowing you to me at our Thanksgiving gathering, Nita. He thinks you are a beautiful girl. We Kegleys are observant!



The snow is also happening here as predicted. I hope this is the last of the winter hits. Jeanie and I want to drive to Lexington for the UK-LSU basketball game, Saturday.



Let us have a moment of silence to think of Jack H Plymale sweating down there in his Costa Rica flower garden. He is probably wearing red and blue Trojan bikini shorts. I am sure that he wouldn't mind chasing you around in his 400 square foot mansion. Even Mr. Plymale, the "dumb old lineman" could probably catch you in there, eventually, if the famed punter Lemon Elliott doesn't visit the place at the same time.



Uh-Oh, I had better quit before JHP returns from the tropics and thaws us all out- you too Sarah Rapp!



By the way, were you reading my SamKat blog or an email, Nita?



I never know who hits on my blog. No Comments- no responses except for my own and I have ten per cent of the hits with my posts. www.skegley.blogspot.com . Thanks to Clay Vice's advertising though, there have been 11,619 hits as of today. That's a lot for me, the dumb old Portsmouth OH guy, but the Kentucky fans of the old www.wildcatfaithful.com used to give it nearly that many hits in an hour. WCF has been essentially replaced by www.wildcatnation.net. Kentucky fans love their bounceyball.



Shawnee Chief JHPlymale always says: Ball should not be round, dribble or swish. Ball shoud have points, and lift into the sky end over end, or in a smooth spiral, for fifty to eighty teepees. The chief learned under the tutelage of White Owl Bert Leach, one of P'Town's very smarttest indians.



SamKat



----- Original Message -----



SamKat





From: Nita Elliott

To: Sam Kegley

Sent: Tuesday, January 11, 2011 13:28

Subject: Re: Emergency Weather 1-11-2011 3:38 AM





Thanks for the weather warning, Sam.

I cancelled my dentist appointment...good. Nita



--- On Tue, 1/11/11, Sam Kegley wrote:





From: Sam Kegley

Subject: Emergency Weather 1-11-2011 3:38 AM

To: Undisclosed-Recipient@yahoo.com

Date: Tuesday, January 11, 2011, 4:20 AM

Another beautiful email from Patricia Whitehead

Another beautiful email from Patricia Whitehead

 

Someone has written these beautiful words. One must read and try to understand the deep meanings in them. They are like the Ten Commandments to follow in life all the time.

1] Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble; it is a "steering wheel" that directs us in the right path throughout life.

2] Do you know why a car's WINDSHIELD is so large & the rear view mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE.  So, look ahead and move on.

3] Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.

4] All things in life are temporary.  If going well enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong don't worry, they can't last long either.

5] Old friends are like Gold! New friends are Diamonds! If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold, because to hold a Diamond, you always need a base of Gold!

6]  Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, "Relax sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end!

7] When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities. When GOD doesn't solve your problems, HE has faith in your abilities.

8] A blind person asked St. Anthony: "Can there be anything  worse than losing eye sight?"  He replied: "Yes, losing your vision."

9] When you pray for others God listens to you and blesses them; and sometimes when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.

10] WORRYING does not take away tomorrow's TROUBLES, it takes away today's PEACE.
If you really enjoy this, PLEASE pass to others. It may brighten someone's day...
Praying for love and peace to fill the NEW YEAR.  

      

------ End of Forwarded Message

__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 5785 (20110113) __________

The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.

http://www.eset.com

You say- God says Chart

Thanks John Bob Looney!   HANDY LITTLE CHART - GOD HAS A POSITIVE ANSWER:     YOU SAY GOD SAYS   BIBLE VERSES You say: 'It's impossible' God says:  All things are possible   ( Luke 18:27)   You say: 'I'm too tired'   God says: I will give you rest   ( Matthew 11:28-30)   You say: 'Nobody really loves me'   God says: I love you   ( John 3:1  6 & John 3:34 )   You say: 'I can't go on'   God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)   You say:  'I can't figure things out'   God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-   6)   You say: 'I can't do it'   God says: You can do all things   ( Philippians 4:13)   You say: 'I'm not able'   God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)   You say:'It's not worth it' God says: It will be worth it   (Roman 8:28 )   You say: 'I can't forgive myself'   God says: I Forgive you   (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)   You say: 'I can't manage'   God says: I will supply all your needs   ( Philippians 4:19)   You say: 'I'm afraid' God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear   ( II Timothy 1:7)   You say: 'I'm always worried and frustrated'   God says: Cast all your cares on ME   (I Peter 5:7)   You say: 'I'm not smart enough'   God says: I give you wisdom   (I Corinthians 1:30)   You say: 'I feel all alone'   God says: I will never leave you or forsake you   (Hebrews 13:5)   PASS THIS ON.  YOU NEVER KNOW WHO MAY BE IN NEED   In His Love, Dinah (Gen.30:21) =

Vitriolic comments from the left- o himself!

Thanks Doug Brooke!

 

While  the media is bad rapping Sarah Palin about here campaign comments how about what the president said during his campaign...

Wonder why the media does not rap on the anointed  one. 

This is just a short note to comment on how unfair the main stream media  broadcasts their crap...

I would really enjoy a civil debate on TV by both parities, just guess it is to much to expect. 


** Obama: “They Bring a Knife�We Bring a Gun”
** Obama: “Get in Their Faces!”
** Obama: “I don’t want to quell anger. I think people are right to be angry! I’m  angry!”
** Obama: “Hit Back Twice As Hard”
** Obama: “We talk to these folks� so I know whose @ss to kick.“
** Obama to voters: Republican victory would mean “hand to hand combat”
** Obama to lib supporters: “It’s time to Fight for it.”
** Obama to Latino supporters: “Punish your enemies.”
** Obama to democrats: “I’m itching for a fight.”

ttp://www.eset.com

Two stories-Both True Thanks Tom & Carolyn!

Thanks Tom & Carolyn!

Two stories - both true - both worth reading




Story number one



Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago. Capone wasn’t famous for anything heroic. He was notorious for enmeshing the windy city in everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder. Capone had a lawyer nicknamed “Easy Eddie”. He was Capone’s lawyer for a good reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie’s skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time. To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the money big, but Eddie got special dividends, as well. For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that if filled an entire Chicago City block. Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him. Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to it that his young son had clothes, cars, and a good education, nothing was withheld. Price was no object. Despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong. Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was. Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn’t give his son; he couldn’t pass on a good name or a good example. One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done. He decidedd he would go to the authorities and tell the truth about Al “Scarface” Capone, clean up his tarnished name, and offer his son some semblance of interrity. To do this, he would have to testify against the Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great. So, he testified. Within the year, Easy Eddie’s life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago street. In Eddie’s eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer, at the greatest price he could ever pay. Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion, and a poem clipped from a magazine.



The poem read:



“The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop, at late or early hour. Now is the only time you own, live, love, toll with a will, place no faith in time. For the clock may soon be still.”





Story number two



World War ll produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch O’Hare. He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier Lexington in the South Pacific. One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank. He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship. His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet. As he was returning to the mother ship, he saw something that turned his blood cold; a squadron of Japanese aircraft was speeding its way toward the American fleet. The American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn’t reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber’s blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch wove in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent. Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible, rendering them unfit to fly. Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction. Deeply relieved, Butch O’Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier. Upon arrival, he reported in and related the event surrounding his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch’s daring attempt to protect his fleet. He had, in fact, destroyed five enemy aircraft. This took place on February 20, 1942, and for that action Butch became the Navy’s first Ace of W.W.ll, and the first Naval Aviator to win the Medal of Honor. A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29. His home town would not allow the memory of this Wwll hero0 to fade, and today O’Hare International Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this great man. So, the next time you find yourself at O’Hare International, give some thought to visiting Butch’s memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of Honor. It’s located between Terminals 1 and 2.









So what do these two stories have to do with each other ?























Butch O’Hare was “Easy Eddie’s son !