FOR THOSE
WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF
ENGLISH:
ONE
TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, ...... FLOOR.
ATHEISM IS A
NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
IF
MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE
STILL HAVE
MONKEYS AND APES?
I
WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
WHAT
IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
IF A
DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL
HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
IS THERE
ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT
ALL?"
WHAT
DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
IF A
PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A
WALK?
WHY
DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION TOILETS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM?
IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR
NAKED?
IF THE
POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
WHY
DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
HOW
DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
WHAT
WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
ONE
NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
DOES
THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
(This one took me a minute)
HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL
WAR?
IF YOU
ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
IF
YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN
IT?
WHY IS IT
CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
WHY
IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
IF
YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?
CAN AN
ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD? | ||
Saturday, April 11, 2015
English and it idiosyncracies ,,, Thx Sarah R!
New Preamble ... Thx Ramey H!
New Preamble
New preamble to the constitution
This is probably the best e-mail I've seen in a long, long time.The following has been attributed to Lewis Napper, a Jackson, Mississippi computer programmer. He didn't expect his essay -- a tart 10-point list of "rights" Americans don't have -- to become an Internet legend.
'We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.'
ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth.. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II:
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of dummies, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you get the blue juice.
ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure..
ARTICLE VIII:
You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE IX:
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
ARTICLE X:
This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you came from, English is our language. Learn it!
Lastly
ARTICLE XI:
You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, sorry if you are uncomfortable with it.
If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you if you don't. I just think it's about time common sense is allowed to flourish. Sensible people of the United States must speak out because if you do not, who will?
Friday, April 10, 2015
KSR AM 4/10/2015 ... Thanks and my sincere admiration for Matt Jones and his staff for their great coverage of UK Basketball!
Photo by UK Athletics
“If you’ve decided to put your name in the draft, why don’t you stand up?”
John Calipari turned to Willie Cauley-Stein, Andrew Harrison, Trey Lyles, Dakari Johnson, Devin Booker, Karl Towns, and Aaron Harrison and smiled. The seven players looked at each other for a beat, wondering for the umpteenth time if their coach was serious. For a brief second, the hopes of the BBN soared.
“Really?” Cal exclaimed in disbelief, and like their chairs were on fire, the boys sprang to their feet as a unit, grinning at their coach.
It was a moment almost two decades in the making, a dream realized through endless hours in the gym, sacrifices by their parents, and one, long historic season. Though the end wasn’t what they wanted, there was no hiding the pure joy in each player’s face.
“Growing up as a kid, you always wait for this moment,” Dakari said.
“It’s been my dream since I was 7 years old,” Trey said. “I would shoot in the driveway or mimic game-winning shots at the park and it’s just crazy to think about the fact that it’s happening now.”
“It’s surreal,” Karl said. “You never think of this moment; you dream of this moment when you’re young, when you’re playing on the court and you just think about these moments, like the one today – like hopefully I could be in the same league as the greats like Michael Jordan, Hakeem Olajuwon and Sam Bowie.” (Of course Karl mentioned Sam Bowie. Ugh, I’m going to miss him.)
If all seven players are drafted (and I expect they will be), it will be the most from any school, breaking the record set by the six Cats who went out in 2012. Since John Wall, DeMarcus Cousins, Patrick Patterson, Eric Bledsoe, and Daniel Orton did it five years ago,is the annual handoff to the NBA any easier for fans? In some ways, I guess it is. After six years of watching these kids go through this program and learning about the process, I feel as though I understand and appreciate the jump to the NBA more. The guys aren’t turning their backs on the program, they’re going after their dreams; however, the pang of losing them still hurts and having them all announce at once is both heartening and heartbreaking, like ripping away a really pretty bandaid.
It doesn’t help that all this is happening a mere five days after the shattering end of the season in Indianapolis. The empty void that I have just come to accept welled up a bit with sadness today, but it’s time to shake it away, be happy, and move on.
But before we do that, let’s go over it all one more time, starting with the announcement if you haven’t seen it:
Dakari said he was the only one who wavered
When the players were asked if any of them were on the fence 24 hours ago, only Dakari Johnson asked for the mic.
“I kind of was. Me and my family sat down with Coach Cal yesterday and had a meeting. Last night, I just prayed about it and really thought about it hard,” Dakari said. “God told me it’s my time.”
Dakari is currently 38th in most mock drafts.
Andrew thinks he’s the best point guard in the draft
“I think I’m the best point guard, the best all-around point guard,” Andrew told reporters. “We only lost one game this year. Tyler came and we shared minutes, and that’s different than any other team in the country. I think I just have to prove myself. I’ll be fine.”
It hasn’t always been easy for Andrew at Kentucky, but in the end, he says these have been the best years of his life. “This was the best experience of my life playing basketball here at the University of Kentucky, and I’m so thankful for them for having me here these past two years.”
Ditto, Andrew.
Please stop worrying about the twins separating
I can already tell the Twins will be asked this question a million times over the next two months and even I’m already sick of it. “How will the twins handle separating?!?!”
“We are prepared for that,” Andrew said. “We are not even together all of the time here, so it’s not that bad. We’ll be alright.”
“I wouldn’t say it’s scary,” Aaron said when asked. “I think we’re excited to break apart and live our own lives. Of course I’ll miss him a little bit, but I don’t think it will affect us.”
Really, stop worrying. They’ll be just fine.
Photo by UK Athletics
Even John Calipari admitted he got emotional
Cal posted the following message on social media with the pic above:
“I met with the players in the back before they announced their decisions today and I started to get emotional. They’re starting on the next phase of their lives. I had to kind of turn and walk out because it’s like they’re my own sons. When they leave, they’re gone. It’s like they’re leaving the nest. But I’m so proud of them.”
We all are.
What about Alex?
John Calipari said that the goal before the season was to have eight guys drafted. Because of Alex’s injury, they’re just short of that right now. So, is Alex coming back or not?
“Alex is going to go home and meet with his family. We have done some research for him. It’s unfortunate. It’s a tough deal because he would be sitting here too. (If) Alex comes back, he will graduate in three years. He will have his college degree and he has an opportunity to do the things he wants to do and reach his dreams too.”
That seems a little more open-ended than I expected it to be. Willie says he knows what Alex is going through with his decision right now.
“It could go both ways. He can think about it like how I thought about it which is, if I come back I am doing something that has never been done. I am trying to make my name and I feel like I did that. If I’m coming back it’s for a purpose, and to be better than what everyone thought I was going to be. If he is going to come back that has got to be the motive. I came back and took this year like it was my rookie year.”
I mean, he has to come back, right?
Meanwhile…
Kentucky is now the favorite for Stephen Zimmerman and Thon Maker
…according to Jerry Meyer. The people most anxious to hear the players’ decisions today? Recruits. There are plenty of elite uncommitted prospects still on the board, and Meyer says that he believes Zimmerman and Maker will likely pick the Cats, and Jaylen Brown, Brandon Ingram, Malik Newman, and Cheick Diallo are “all possible.” Meyer is so confident in Kentucky’s chances he thinks Calipari will bring in so many recruits he’ll use the platoon system again next season.
Wow. On that note…
The Nike Hoop Summit is Saturday
All week, reports have trickled down from Portland: Skal Labissiere is soaring, Tai Wynyard is struggling. We’ll have more on the site tomorrow as we get closer to Saturday’s game at 3 p.m. ET. You can watch it on ESPN2, and you should. You might be watching more than three future Cats when all is said and done.
Sam Malone’s new t-shirt is hilarious
Malone and Tod Lanter were on the show this morning and Sam teased the reveal of his new t-shirt, which is now available for sale here, but I didn’t realize it would be thiscool. I’m definitely going to need one of those. And a headband.
KSR will be at Keeneland in the morning
Matt and Ryan will do the show live from Keeneland to get you ready for a fun day at the track and the first weekend without UK basketball or football since September. Normally, that would be really, really depressing, but right now, I think I need it.
See you then.
Andy Lyons/Getty Images
Since the 2011-12 season, ESPN has used the Basketball Power Index (BPI) to determine the truly best teams in the sport. The rating system accounts for the final score, pace of play, site, strength of opponent and absence of key players in every Division I men’s game, including the NCAA Tournament. I dug up the top ten BPI teams and the results favor Kentucky’s 2015 team as the best overall from the past four years, even above the 2012 Cats.
1. 2015 Kentucky (94.5)
2. 2012 Kentucky (92.4)
3. 2015 Wisconsin (92.0)
4. 2013 Louisville (91.3)
5. 2014 Arizona (91.1)
6. 2015 Arizona (90.9)
7. 2012 Syracuse (90.2)
8. 2014 Florida (90.1)
9. 2015 Virginia (90.0)
10. 2015 Villanova (89.6)
Next three: 2015 Duke (89.5), 2015 Gonzaga (89.1), 2013 Florida (89.0)
The numbers show that 2015 was by far the best season for college basketball in the BPI era. Five of the top 10 teams — and seven of the top 12 — are from 2015. Kentucky’s lone loss of 2015 came against the highest-rated, non-Kentucky team of the BPI era.
The Cats didn’t reach 40-0. They didn’t accomplish what we all wanted in the end — but don’t let anyone tell you they weren’t great, that the SEC was too easy, or even that they choked. They reached the most-stacked Final Four in years, maybe decades, and fell to an elite Wisconsin team in a semifinal that could have gone either way.
There have been many great players and many great people to play for the University of Kentucky, but none quite like Willie Cauley-Stein, who was both. In his three seasons at UK, he transformed from an athletic project, raw but with potential, to the best defender in the country and a Player of the Year finalist. Off the court, he marched to the beat of his own drum, and for that, and his time volunteered around the community, he became a fan favorite.
Today we said goodbye to Willie Cauley-Stein when he announced he will enter this summer’s NBA Draft, forgoing his final season of college basketball. He leaves behind a storied career at Kentucky, beginning with an NIT loss in his freshman season followed by back-to-back trips to the Final Four, both ending in heartbreak. His experience was one he said he will never forget, and every fan across Big Blue Nation can say the same.
So tonight, as both parties move on, let’s look back at how we will forever remember Willie Cauley-Stein:
— Kentucky’s 25th consensus All-American, having earned first team All-American honors from the Associated Press, National Association of Basketball Coaches, the Sporting News, and United States Basketball Writers Association.
— The first player in school history to collect 200 or more career blocks and 100 or more career steals. Also one of eight players in program history to have 500 or more rebounds, 100 or more blocks, and 75 or more steals.
— These glasses:
— This hair:
— And this shirt:
— His ferocious dunks that killed opposing players from a number of schools, including Florida, LSU and Cincinnati. Each one of those are in the conversation for best dunks in the history of the program.
— His ability to guard all five positions, whether it be protecting the rim or stepping outside on a switch and locking down the other team’s biggest scoring threat. Maybe his best defensive play of his career: tipping Jerian Grant’s lethal stepback jumper to force a shot clock violation on the Irish’s most important possession of the Elite Eight game. Grant said afterward, “I think that was one of my best step-backs of the night, and I felt like I had created a lot of space.”
— His injured ankle… and this scooter:
— A first team All-SEC Selection, SEC Defensive Player of the Year and SEC Tournament MVP as a junior.
— The Energy Bus, his favorite book. He hated reading when he got to Kentucky, so he and Coach Cal started a book club. Cal would assign him one book every week and the two would sit down and discuss it when he was done.
— The fact that he played football in high school. Did you know he played football in high school?
— For reasons beyond me, some fans felt the need to tattoo his face on their leg:
— That time he explained his plans to survive a zombie apocalypse and how the Wildcat Lodge is a dangerous place to be should one occur while he’s at UK. “There’s only a couple ways out and too much glass,” he said. “There’s too many glass windows and you can’t get past that.”
— His willingness to go out into the community and put smiles on the faces that needed it most. For every story we heard, there are probably three or four more that went untold.
— He flirted with what would’ve been the second triple-double in UK’s history with 15 points, eight rebounds and career-high nine blocks against Providence in 2013-14. He had two games with nine blocks in his career, a little over a week apart.
— That time he wore a GoPro during UK’s 2014 NCAA Tournament run:
— When he could’ve bolted to the NBA as a sophomore but stayed for one more year. “I love school. I love being at Kentucky,” he said of the decision. “I love the fan base. I love the community. I love the people there. So it’s like, why not stay until they make you leave?” His decision to stick around for another shot at the title played a big role in the Harrisons deciding to stay a week later.
— After passing on the NBA the first time, following his freshman season at UK, he told reporters, “I’m still a kid. I’m not ready to pay taxes.”
— The fact that he played football in high school, a wide receiver nonetheless. Did you know this?
— The way he stared down his opponents after big plays:
— And undoubtedly his most impressive feat at the University of Kentucky, the time heswam the length of the infinity pool and back in the Bahamas without coming up for air. I’ll never forget it.
Thanks for everything, Willie. Make us proud in the NBA, so we can rub it in Chris Webber’s face.
After standing together to announce their decisions to leave Kentucky, each of the seven NBA-bound Wildcats separated around the floor they once practiced on to field questions from the media one last time.
Kentucky Wildcats TV was on hand with cameras. Watch what they caught, below:
Willie Cauley-Stein and Karl Towns:
Aaron and Andrew Harrison:
Dakari Johnson, Trey Lyles, and Devin Booker:
The New Breadwinner; or income Redistribution at work ... Thx Paul C!
.
This really tells it like it is..
The New Breadwinner; or, Income Redistribution at work
|
Irlen Syndrome or Scotopic Sensitiv... Thx Marge R!
I found this interesting and thought you would too:
What is Irlen Syndrome or Scotopic Sensitivity? | Irlen Institute
skegley.blogspot.com
What is Irlen Syndrome or Scotopic Sensitivity? | Irlen Institute
skegley.blogspot.com
Irlen lenses and Light sensitivity
I found this interesting and thought you would too:
Get Help with Light Sensitivity & Photophobia | Irlen Institute
Get Help with Light Sensitivity & Photophobia | Irlen Institute
Thursday, April 9, 2015
LHL 7 UK players to declare for the draft 4/9/2015
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New EKU basketball coach McHale says Colonels will play 'Pitino ball'
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BASKETBALL: WOMEN
Kentucky's lone women's McDonald's All-American packs offensive and defensive punch
Take a look at Taylor Murray's stat line for the season, and it's not difficult to figure out what University of Kentucky women's basketball coach Matthew Mitchell likes most about his next big recruit.
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Five homers fuel No. 1 Texas A&M's doubleheader sweep of Kentucky
Texas A&M showed Kentucky why it is the No. 1 baseball team in the nation, banging out five home runs to sweep Saturday's Southeastern Conference doubleheader at Cliff Hagan Stadium.
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J.B. Holmes' win Sunday has him at career-best 12th in World Golf Ranking
Former Taylor County and University of Kentucky star J.B. Holmes is at a career-best 12th in the World Golf Ranking after winning the Houston Open on Sunday.
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