Squirrel Problems . . . Thx Tom & Carolyn L!

Fwd: Squirrel Problem There were four churches and a synagogue in a small town: a Presbyterian church, a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Catholic church, and a synagogue. Each church and the synagogue had a problem with squirrels. The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will. At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week. The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide. But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter. Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since. ______________________________ -- As you slide down that Banister of Life pray that all the splinters are pointed the other way

Trump pulls the rug out . . . Thx Tom Q!

Subject: Fwd: Trump Pulls The Rug Out

Trump pulls the rugs out! Obama Crushed After Trump Orders House To Stop His Sickest Tradition and you see why... Obama was seen storming away from the West Wing after staffers from Donald Trump's transition team began preparing the Executive offices for the new administration. On Trump's orders, one of Obama's most secretive rituals is being reversed and all signs of it removed from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. For the past 7 years, to appease any Muslims working at or visiting the White House, silence has been ordered during the five times of Islamic prayer each day. In addition, prayer rugs and crescent moon symbols are available in several areas of the executive mansion to make Muslims more comfortable. The administration has defended the practice by asserting that it also observes several other religious moments of silence and prayer out of respect, including a full 15 seconds for Christianity on Sunday morning while a chaplain blesses a staff breakfast. None of the prayer is mandatory or led by a government official, which has allowed the administration to subvert 1st Amendment issues, but the obvious favoritism towards Islam, which is observed for 25 minutes per day seven days a week, tells a story this president has denied for eight years. President-Elect Trump, who acknowledges that this country was founded by Christians and was built on Christian morals, is having all pagan symbolsremoved from the property unless they offer some historical significance. Only the cross in the White House chapel will remain for worship. Jim Mergernerlerny, head of the team that will transform the White House from the Obama's home to the Trump's second home, told MSNBC: "Mr. Trump doesn't see the need to provide prayer rugs and false idols in a house built by Christians. WashingtonDC offers a diverse cultural center for worship of any kind. You won't find any special considerations for Judaism or crucifixes to appease Catholics, either. There is a simple chapel with a single cross on one wall that is suitable for prayer by anyone. Our government doesn't need to be forcing prayer rituals down people's throats just so we don't 'offend' people looking to blow us up." Patriots around the US can rest assured that the era of apologizing for our faith has come to an end. (Thank God – the right person got elected after all!!!!)

Resist the left-wingers . . .

Ok, just go ahead . . .

Whatever the democrats want, we've let them do it . . .

We are into an awfuly stinky ditch in Ameica and our entertainers-politicians have had their  . . .

Sanctuary cities, etc.,etc.,etc. . . .

The Tea Party has spoken yet they, or we, are continually maligned by leftwinged press and politicians . . .

I want and I pray for Donald Trump tp procede ion his logical leadership ways; however, o and hillm, and all of the left are mobilizing to stop those of us who want our country back into decent hands . . .

America, now that you have apparently woke up in the 2016 elections, don't stop now . . .

Resist the left in America  . . .

My true belief is that the world is in need of Christ's return . . .

Until he does, the Trump/Pence/Ryan team needs our sincere support!

School Teacher . . . Thx Sarah R!

SCHOOL TEACHER 

After retiring from the army, a former Artillery Sergeant took a job as a high school teacher. Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a light plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fitted snugly under his shirt and wasn't noticeable when he wore his suit jacket

On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-ass punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former soldier, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom.

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. A strong breeze through the window made his tie flap. He picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest

Dead Silence.

The rest of the year went smoothly.

 

 

Photos . . . Thx Tom Q!

Blue ice...the result of snow falling on a glacier becoming compressed.

   

 

Not a branch. It's a mammoth tusk unearthed from the ground.

 

Not Legoland. It's a housing complex in San Buenaventura, Mexico.

 

This looks like a piece of art, but it’s a honeycomb.

 

An infrared photo of a garden.  This is what a bee sees.

 

This giant cactus, Pachycereus weberi, is native to Mexico and southern Arizona.

 

This is what smoking does to your curtains.

 

 

The stunning blue-ringed octopus, 
one of the most dangerous marine animals.

 

 

 

The Iraqi Marshes: an aquatic landscape in a desert climate.

 

A 27,000-year-old hand print 
discovered on the rocks of an Indonesian island.

 

Looks like a tattoo?
They're scars left after being struck by lightning.

 

Bangledeshians get creative:
a floating bridge made out of dinghies.

 

What a difference a century makes: 

The daily commute, then and now.

 

Lavender and wheat fields grow side by side in perfect harmony.

 

 

This is the rarely seen ili pika (Ochotona iliensis), a shy 

mountain animal from China that was recently spotted 

for the first time in 20 years.

 

A rare sight: a sunset and eclipse at the same time.

 

An ice cave formed by volcanic hot springs.

 

Stuyvesant Town is Manhattan's largest apartment   complex.

 

Not something you see every day:  lightning and a rainbow.

 

A cloud formation above Lake Michigan in Holland 

State Park, Michigan.

 

A bird’s-eye view of Dubai in the United Arab Emirates.

 

To get an idea of how large the comet 67P/Churyumov-

Gerasimenko is, it has been rendered next to a city.

Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds.

You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.  

Don’t forget to water it!

 

 

P Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail

 

She will be gone . . . Thx Dr. Ralph H!