Monday, November 20, 2006
The Couch Slouch: Not all of Bob Knight's transgressions get reported
By NORMAN CHAD
SPECIAL TO THE P-I
They say that Bob Knight is an angry man. I say that Bob Knight is an anguished man who, on several hundred occasions, has shown anger. Either way, Knight, 66, is about to surpass Dean Smith's 879 victories to become the winningest college basketball coach in history.
Here is a partial list of Knight's reported and unreported transgressions:
1962: Trips guidance counselor in hallway while coaching Cuyahoga Falls (Ohio) High School. County school board declines action; Knight praises "good no-call."
1974: Pulls gun on Kentucky coach Joe B. Hall with 6:28 left in game. Hall, initially outraged, apologizes afterward when Knight shows him gun had only one bullet in chamber.
1974: Meets with 17-year-old Larry Bird on Indiana campus at 4:16 p.m. CT. Bird sprints off-campus and arrives at Indiana State on foot at 4:19 p.m. CT.
1975: Breaks top scorer Scott May's right arm at halftime vs. Purdue, then convinces him to play second half to display "toughness." May is largely ineffective but Indiana wins 72-69.
1978: Attacks and knocks out Indiana's sports information director during an otherwise non-physical disagreement over sports information.
1979: Arrested for assaulting police officer at Pan American Games in Puerto Rico. "If hitting a cop in a third-rate island nation is an issue," Knight famously says, "then I'm visiting the wrong country."
1981: Stuffs LSU fan into garbage can at hotel. Knight says he would've thrown him into parking lot but did not want to violate stringent municipal anti-littering laws.
1982: Yells maniacally at ESPN's Dick Vitale, but, as luck would have it, at that very moment Vitale is also yelling maniacally and does not hear a word that Knight says.
1985: Kicks megaphone during Illinois game. Megaphone is removed from arena immediately.
1985: Tosses chair across court during Purdue game because he's tired of sitting in it. Suspended one game.
1993: Kicks at his son Pat during victory over Notre Dame and responds to booing fans with a Redd Foxx impersonation. Suspended one game.
1993: Disgusted by team's 22 turnovers in road loss to Illinois, robs a string of convenience marts in tri-state area. Suspended one game.
1994: Bangs fist on scorer's table vs. Ohio State after rereading Chapter 17 of "A Season on the Brink."
1994: While viewing "Hoosiers" in Bloomington, Ind., theater, stomps on patron two rows behind him who is talking during crucial town hall meeting to decide coach Dale's fate.
1994: Accidentally head-butts Sherron Wilkerson while screaming at him on bench; says he only meant to scratch his eyes out.
1997: Accidentally chokes Neil Reed in practice while demonstrating proper defensive footwork.
1999: Accidentally throws assistant Ron Felling out of a chair, then -- after allowing Felling back onto the chair -- fires him.
1999: Throws a vase at a university secretary; says he was aiming for the university president.
1999: Allegedly chokes man at restaurant who beats Knight to the kitchen's last order of cheddar 'n' chives potato skins.
2000: Accidentally grabs, curses and lectures student who had addressed the coach, "Hey, what's up Knight?"
2000: Heaves ESPN's Jeremy Schaap into Hudson River after Schaap asks about alleged 1947 dodge-ball incident.
2004: Has loud spat with Texas Tech chancellor David Smith at Lubbock grocery store, near the frozen-food aisle. Smith leaves with no groceries.
2005: During "Knight School" taping, cold cocks ESPN makeup artist who tries to apply blush to his left cheek. He then knees ESPN audio engineer who asks for a second take of profanity-laced tirade.
2005: Cracks open the head of a mannequin with a baseball bat while shopping at Sports Authority. Charges dismissed after he explains he mistook the mannequin for a former Big Ten referee.
2006: Improves Michael Prince's chin posture.
Ask The Slouch
Q. If O.J. Simpson's Fox special is a ratings hit, what do you figure will be next for him? (David Fields; Oak Hill, W. Va.)
A. Well, I think he's going to tell us what we already know, so I'd pencil him in as an NFL sideline reporter.
Q. Shouldn't the NHL-YouTube agreement finally put the league on the map? (Joey Favata; Syracuse, N.Y.)
A. Perhaps. Frankly, I thought the NHL's first big Internet deal was going to be with eBay.
Q. Will The Slouch be first in line to see "Bobby"? (Rob Cunningham; Burien)
A. What, Kennedy worship is in vogue again? Heck, I'd rather deify Coach K.
Q. What are you thankful for? (Laurence Lass; Houston)
A. Bowling, TiVo and Metamucil (not necessarily in that order.)
Q. Don't the networks run the risk of indecency fines every time they show an Oakland Raiders game? (Sam Thomas; Springfield, Ohio)
A. Pay the man, Shirley.
You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just e-mail asktheslouch@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!
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