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[image: David Knowles]
*David Knowles
(Feb. 21) – In addition to the three R's, boys at one Arizona public high
school have spent the past year learning to open doors for girls, pull out
chairs for their female classmates and stand when a girl enters a room.
Incorporating etiquette lessons into the classroom was the brainchild of
Cord Ivanyi, a Latin teacher at Gilbert Classical Academy, a public college
prep school 30 miles east of Phoenix.
[image: Etiquette lessons]
Courtesy of Cord Ivanyi
Male students in Cord Ivanyi's Latin class at Gilbert Classical Academy high
school have learned such etiquette techniques as seating the girls at their
desks.
"I teach old-fashioned subjects," Ivanyi told AOL News, "so I don't think
I'm doing anyone a disservice by promoting old-fashioned traditions."
A teacher for 14 years, Ivanyi said he was inspired to start demonstrating
what he considers proper etiquette after witnessing the coarse behavior that
some of the boys in his classes displayed toward the girls.
"Boys treat girls pretty roughly," he said. "And there was so much
disruption, so I decided to do something about it."
The informal lessons began with Ivanyi standing up one day after a girl in
the class had left the room to go to the bathroom. As she returned, Ivanyi
held open the door for her.
"She had this funny look on her face," Ivanyi recalled. "And the other kids
giggled a little."
Soon, however, Ivanyi was schooling the 10th-grade boys on how to seat their
female counterparts at their desks, by pulling out their chair and sliding
it underneath them as they sat. As a show of respect, the boys were
encouraged to stand any time a girl entered the room.
Behavior that was once utterly foreign has become routine. "Ninety-eight
percent of the boys stand now when a girl enters the room, and the girls
love it," Ivanyi said.
As a result of the emphasis on politeness, the overall mood in the classroom
has changed markedly.
"There's a different tenor in the class, a gravity attached to the girls.
They've been more feminized in the boys' eyes," Ivanyi said. "These girls
are reading Jane Austen novels in class. For them, chivalry hasn't gone out
of style."
[image: Cord Ivanyi]
Courtesy of Cord Ivanyi
Cord Ivanyi, seen here with his dog, Toby, said that he started
incorporating etiquette lessons in response to what he felt was a
distressing lack of civility in his classroom.
Melissa Leonard, an etiquette instructor in New York for the past 13 years,
applauds Ivanyi's efforts. "I think it's great if it's practical etiquette
instead of the white-glove, snobby kind."
Leonard argues that learning proper manners helps kids navigate a variety of
social situations. Sadly, too few have an understanding of the basics.
"There are some fundamental rules that are important for kids to learn, like
looking someone in the eye when talking to them," Leonard said. "And there
can be a role for the school to play, especially if etiquette isn't being
taught at home."
But is teaching gender-specific etiquette perpetuating what some consider
sexist traditions?
Gilbert Classical Principal Brian Rosta stresses that the emphasis Ivanyi
places on social graces is not an official part of the school's curriculum.
Rosta has no plans to expand the politeness training, but he is a firm
believer that schools can play a vital role in teaching manners.
"We often use the Latin phrase* in loco parentis*, 'in place of parents,'
and sometimes we find that we need to fill the gaps that parents miss,"
Rosta said. "If there are any life skills our teachers can help with, I
encourage that."
What's more, the parents of the students in Ivanyi's class don't seem to
mind, either.
"The only negative thing I've heard are parents calling to make sure that
their daughters say 'thank you' to the boys," Rosta said.
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