This may be somewhat controversial in this world of diversity. My naivette must show here. I played softball until I was becoming 75 two years ago. I was never aware of a gay player for or against any of the teams I was affiliated with. Oh well, read the fololowing at your own risk:
"The Homo Quota"—Inside The World Of Gay Softball
Earlier we wrote about three bisexual men suing the Gay World Series for excluding them because they "weren't gay enough." Let's examine the lengths organizers will go to to keep the sport gay, and how teams get around the rules.
The North American Gay Amateur Athletic Alliance has been the governing body for gay softball for the past 33 years, and the hard and fast rule is that each team can have a maximum of two heterosexual players on their roster. (According to the NAGAAA rules, heterosexual means "having a predominant sexual interest in a member or members of the opposite sex.")
The exemption exists for two reasons, says "Mike," a straight player for an Ohio team. "A lot of teams are concerned that they might not be able to field a full roster with just gays. It's easy enough to find a gay right fielder, but if you're in a smaller area, finding a pitcher or catcher who qualifies can be tougher. It just makes sense that if you've got seven guys who'd like to field a team, not to penalize them for not being able to find two more gay men."
And the second reason? It preemptively heads off claims of discrimination.
"They don't want to be sued," Mike says. "With this, they can say 'we let anyone play.'"
Because they're a private organization, the NAGAAA doesn't have to open membership to everyone. It's like Augusta National barring women until a few years ago, or, yes, like the Boy Scouts of America banning gay scoutmasters. But that's not an absolute defense, as lawsuits against Augusta, the Boy Scouts, and this week the NAGAAA, have shown.
Players have a love/hate relationship with the Homo Quota, as they call it. On one hand, they're happy to have a league for themselves, where they can comfortably be as out as they want to be. On the other hand, it seriously limits the talent pool. Those two "straight spots" are often used as ringers, and the more competitive teams will do whatever they can to find two great straight players — and occasionally more.
"We ended up losing one of our straight players because he got a girl pregnant," says "Rob," a gay player from Florida. "So I asked one of my straight friends to join our team and play outfield. After my team evaluated his performance they told me he could permanently join our team, but since he was only 'good,' but not 'really good,' he would have to 'be gay' in the eyes of the league because we didn't want to waste one of our straight spots on the roster on a straight player who is only pretty good."
Disguising straight ringers as gay men is fairly common practice in gay softball. According to the opposing team that filed the protest that led to the Seattle lawsuit, the three plaintiffs are actually heterosexual, and only claimed to be bisexual to skirt the two-player limit.
Teams will go to great lengths to cover up their players' heterosexuality, says Rob. "Each week, my other friend who doesn't play, shows up to the games as [the straight player's] 'boyfriend.' He is banned from my team of showing any signs of heterosexuality in public and even goes to a gay bar with me from time to time just to make an appearance."
The Homo Quota leads to gamesmanship, not only in smuggling straights onto your roster, but questioning players on other teams.
"After I'd played most of the teams," says Rob, "I found out from our team captain that the other teams were going to protest our wins because they thought that I was straight. I would have put us over the straight quota. So I wanted to know how exactly do I need to prove that I'm gay? Do I need to dance at a certain level, do I need to actually make out with men in front of a committee? I don't know what he ended up saying to stop them from protesting but they didn't go through with it."
Mike says that he's never been asked to pose as gay to free up a straight spot, but it's fairly common knowledge that a number of teams in his league pull that trick.
"It's not worth complaining," he says. "Some of my gay teammates know what it's like to be excluded because of who they are. How could they sleep at night if they turned around and did that to someone else?
"We're all just here to play softball with our friends."
Reasons the NAGAAA would discriminate against bisexuals?
a) switch-hitting
b) taking pitches the opposite way with power
c) drag bunting
d) beating out infield dribblers
e) double-headers
Softballing must not require such fundamentals. Reply
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Hit Bull Win Steak 04/23/10
There's an easy way to prove this. Just put them on the unpleasant side of a glory hole. Reply
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CaliCheeseSucks 04/23/10
I don't even think the true issue is the gay quota. It's that they won't allow bisexual players to play, essentially telling them, "Listen, you're either gay or you're straight."
"..how exactly do I need to prove that I'm gay? Do I need to dance at a certain level, do I need to actually make out with men in front of a committee?"
-Rawy Torres, 1989 Reply
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DirkToberFest 04/23/10
I think stories about gay people are hilarious.
Not because I enjoy laughing at gay people; I love gay people. But not like love love them like I'm gay or something.
Oh dear. I've really made a mess of this. Reply
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We Are All Lance Uppercut 04/23/10
It's easy enough to find a gay right fielder, but if you're in a smaller area, finding a pitcher or catcher who qualifies can be tougher.
Yeah, but if you're pitching it means you're not gay. Reply
OchentaYcinco 04/23/10
@We Are All Lance Uppercut: Just a bit too quick for me. On the other hand, how that joke went unmade for almost an hour is completely beyond me. Reply We Are All Lance Uppercut promoted this comment
We Are All Lance Uppercut 04/23/10
@OchentaYcinco: Right? It's like finding money on the sidewalk. Reply
OchentaYcinco 04/23/10
@We Are All Lance Uppercut: Exactly. You just need to be careful of your surroundings if you're gonna bend down to pick it up. Reply
See 3 replies Hide 3 replies bevraj of choice 04/23/10
What happens to gay men when they enter the realm of sports? You'd never see them missing a loophole in the fashion industry.
/Double checks for Freudian slips.
//Clicks 'Share' Reply
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Hatey McLife 04/23/10
This is a really sad story. Hopefully in a few years we won't have these divisions based on sexual preference.
With the promise of stem cell therapy, we can cure these people once and for all. Reply
DirkToberFest 04/23/10
@Hatey McLife: After that, we can work on the French. Reply
See 1 reply Hide 1 reply dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac 04/23/10
Let's examine the lengths organizers will go to to keep the sport gay Reply
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LatestBy 04/23/10
You're with me, Leatherdaddy. Reply
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FavreFAIL 04/23/10
I didn't realize they leaked the script to the next Bad News Bears film Reply
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MattinglysSideburns 04/23/10
"We're all just here to play softball with our friends."
- David J. Lesar on Halliburton's Iraq negotiations, 2002. Reply
Charisma 04/23/10
@MattinglysSideburns: Nice. Reply
See 1 reply Hide 1 reply Lionel Osbourne 04/23/10
I work hard and play hard for the Peter PanSexuals. Reply
Edited by Lionel Osbourne at 04/23/10 2:20 PM
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StuScott Booyahs 04/23/10
This would make a great movie starring Cuba Gooding, Jr. Reply
saltwatertaffy 04/23/10
@StuScott Booyahs: "The Switch Hitter". tagline: "Steppin' up to the plate just got complicated". Reply
StuScott Booyahs 04/23/10
@saltwatertaffy: Excellent. Reply
See 2 replies Hide 2 replies roland_t_flakfizer 04/23/10
...even goes to a gay bar with me from time to time just to make an appearance...
"This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! Enjoy your deathtrap, ladies!" Reply
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BullfightsOnAcid 04/23/10
I thought Gay Softball was called Cricket. Reply
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Steve U 04/23/10
The Homo Quota
OK, so maybe I overuse the phrase "Bunburying." I hardly see any reason to call me out over it. Reply
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BullfightsOnAcid 04/23/10
Reply
Choire 04/23/10
@BullfightsOnAcid: YAYS!!! *CLAPS HANDS* Reply
See 1 reply Hide 1 reply Choire 04/23/10
I only clicked through on this post for pictures. And there are none? WTF PEOPLE. Reply
BullfightsOnAcid 04/23/10
@Choire: Reply
Choire 04/23/10
@BullfightsOnAcid: WHEE!!! Reply
See 2 replies Hide 2 replies Gilbert Publicly Funded Arenas 04/23/10
not to penalize them for not being able to find two more gay men
The RIAA used this same logic when awarding a platinum record to the Village People after only the 999,998th album sold. Reply
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UkraineNotWeak 04/23/10
How do they keep score with so many balls in play? Reply
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rulesboy 04/23/10
It's easy enough to find a gay right fielder
Most commonly at Log Cabin Republican meetings. Reply
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Katni 04/23/10
This is just like the time I had to pretend to like Animal Collective in order to fill in on my friend's kickball team. Reply
ScientificMapp 04/23/10
@Katni: Nice. Reply
See 1 reply Hide 1 reply Dandy Koufax 04/23/10
NAGAAA, please. Reply
ArkansasFred 04/23/10
@Dandy Koufax: Awesome. Reply
Steve U 04/23/10
@Dandy Koufax: +1 Reply
bevraj of choice 04/23/10
@Dandy Koufax: Excellent +1 Reply
Gamboa Constrictor 04/23/10
@Dandy Koufax: This gave me that confused- look- that- slowly- turned- into- knowing- smile- and- slow- clap reaction that Conan is so fond of (I'm not that smart).Well done. Reply
ScientificMapp 04/23/10
@Gamboa Constrictor: Ditto Reply
See 5 replies Hide 5 replies Civil Negligence 04/23/10
Could you imagine the havoc A-Rod would wreck on this league should he decide to join? Reply
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