Subject: BLONDS
To:
>
>
> **Blondes Are The Best!!! **
>
> A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard
> barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs.
>
> The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?"
>
> The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!
>
> ++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++
>
> Two Blondes With Hammers..... ...
>
> Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity House. Lynn was nailing down house siding,
> would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
>
> Judy, figuring this was worth looking into asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?' Lynn explained, 'When I
> pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.' Judy got
> completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!'
>
> ++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++
>
> Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
> They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'
>
> ++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++
>
> A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this
> happen?' the Emergency Room doctor asked her.
>
> 'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.
>
> 'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?'
>
> 'No, silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these
> implants... I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'
>
> 'So then?' asked the doctor.
> 'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened. I'm not shooting
> myself in the mouth.'
>
> 'So then?'
>
> 'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear
> before I pulled the trigger.’
>
> ++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++++++
>
> A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so
> the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some
> fun...... He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
>
> So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So
> she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?'
>
> The first Blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the
> dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hellooooo! You need to roll up the windows first.'
>
> ++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++
>
> A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked
> it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was.
> The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... . It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.'
> 'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I' m going to buy it!' So she bought the thermos and took it to work the
> next day.
>
> Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked?
>
> 'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,' she replied..
>
> Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'
>
> The blonde replied..... .'Two popsicles and some coffee.'
>
> ++++++++++++ +
>
> AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
>
> A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'
>
> The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.'
>
> The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest.'
>
> 'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.'
>
> The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the
> blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. .......
>
> 'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.
>
> 'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'
No comments:
Post a Comment