**HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM**
1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work
boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Bubba,
Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning
and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard
to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside. Be right back.
Cooter
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