Subject: FW: Fwd: Fw: Craig's list ad
Date: Tue, 17 Jan 2012 23:08:25 -0500
Craig's list ad--Read it closely folks... a good one.
|
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD To
the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date:
2010-09-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry
jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on
me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's
purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather
important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I
didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you
took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for
a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour
as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom
Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder
holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very
intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?! I know it
probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your
pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave
your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or
running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your
mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire
episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as
those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy
with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful! I
gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the
cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into
the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the
windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office
and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while
he traced your number etc.). ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for
not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more
appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to
sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope
that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the
career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not
be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,
Alex
|
probably don't have to ask you to forward this one.. This was priceless
No comments:
Post a Comment