Subject: The Front
Porch
On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of
your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give
you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's a long time to be
barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
And God said that it was good.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do
tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to
perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"
And God, again said that it was good.
On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field
with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk
to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty
years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed it was good. On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
And God agreed it was good. On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And
for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has
now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as
a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.
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