> *Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.
Is
> this true? *
> A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that
it... Don't waste on
> exercise. Everything wear out eventually.
Speeding up heart not make you
> live longer; it like saying you extend
life of car by driving faster. Want
> to live longer? Take nap.
>
> *Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?*
> A: Oh no. Wine made
from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they
> take water out of
fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.
> Beer also made of
grain. Bottom up!
>
> *Q: How can I calculate my body/fat
ratio?*
> A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to
one. If you
> have two body, your ratio two to one.
>
> *Q:
What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
>
program? *
> A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No
pain...good!
>
> *Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?*
> A:
YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more
>
vegetable be bad?
>
> *Q* : *Will sit-ups help prevent me from
getting a little soft around the
> middle? *
> A: Oh no! When you
exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be
> doing sit-up if you
want bigger stomach.
>
> *Q: Is chocolate bad for me? *
>
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best
>
feel-good food around!
>
> *Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
*
> A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
>
>
*Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? *
> A: Hey!
'Round' is shape!
>
> Well... I hope this has cleared up any
misconceptions you may have had
> about food and diets.
>
>
And remember:
> *Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the
intention of arriving
> safely in an attractive and well-preserved body,
but rather to skid in
> sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in
the other - body
> thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
"WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"*
>
>
> AND.....
>
>
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on
>
nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those
>
conflicting nutritional studies.
>
> 1. The Japanese eat very
little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than
> Americans.
>
> 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than
> Americans.
>
> 3. The Chinese drink very little red
wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
> than Americans.
>
> 4.
The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
>
Americans...
>
> 5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of
sausages and fats and
> suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
>
>
> CONCLUSION: *Eat and drink what you like.* *Speaking
English is
> apparently what kills you.*
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