Breaking news on Papal progress Thanks Sarah R and Keith B!

>>>> Breaking news on Papal progress!
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Obama Wants To Be Next Pope
>>>>
>>>> WASHINGTON, DC - Sources close to the White House have learned that Barack Obama is planning to run for the office of Pope when the  College of Cardinals convenes to elect a successor to ailing Benedict  XVI at the end of this month.
>>>>
>>>> Calling on the promise of Equality for All, Obama is said to firmly  believe that the time has come for a non-Catholic to occupy the  Vatican's highest office.
>>>>
>>>> Foreseeing a looming citizenship issue, he states that he has  discovered an Italian birth certificate that proves he was born in Rome before he was born in Kenya. "That Hawaiian birth  certificate never has been worth what I paid for it anyway," he noted.
>>>>
>>>> Continuing, he concluded, "And there's no way that a handful of  cardinals could be more expensive to buy than 10 million voters in  Michigan."
>>>>
>>>> Further questions should be directed to Obama's Papal Campaign  Manager, Abdul Azeem Khan.
>>>>