Subject: Fwd: Remember??? What A Great Memory this Is...





FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER







Hollywood Squares:

These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..









Q. Do female frogs croak?



A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.





Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be



A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.





Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...



A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.





Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?



A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.





Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?



A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.





Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?



A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..





Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?



A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..





Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?



A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.





Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?



A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.





Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?



A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.





Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?



A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.





Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?



A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.





Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is politics, what is the other?



A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures..





Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?



A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.





Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?



A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.





Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?



A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?





Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?



A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..





Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?



A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.





Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?



A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.





Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?



A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.





Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?



A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?





Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?



A.. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him





Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?



A. Charley Weaver: His feet.





Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?



A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

FW- Back at you brother... Thanks Tom & Carolyn!

Subject: FW: Back at you, Brother....

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to

look for him.



She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of

coffee in front of him.



He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.



She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip

of his coffee.



'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps in to

the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?



The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th

Anniversary of the day we met'.



She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.



The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago

when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 16,'

he says solemnly.





Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that

her husband is so caring and sensitive.



'Yes, I do' she replies.



The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.

'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back

seat of my car?'



'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself in to a

chair beside him.



The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he

shoved the shotgun in my face and said,'Either you

marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years?'



'I remember that, too' she replied softly.



He wiped another tear from his cheek and said 'I would

have gotten out today!!!'

There must be a long line... Thanks T & C!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Fw: Where can I get one of these?

Date: Wed, 20 Apr 2011 09:27:51 -0500




My new truck……







I bought a new Ford F-250 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck.

Go figure......it runs on hydrogen, gasoline, or E-85.

I returned to the dealer yesterday

Because I couldn't get the radio to work…



The service technician explained that the radio was voice activated.

'Nelson,' the technician said to the radio.

Country music..

The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?'

'Willie!' he continued and 'On The Road Again'

Came from the speakers.



Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant

' Georgia On My Mind' replaced Willie Nelson.



I drove away happy, and for the next few days,

Every time I'd say, 'Beethoven,'

I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said,

'Beatles,' I'd get one of their awesome songs.



Yesterday, some guy ran a red light

And nearly creamed my new truck,

But I swerved in time to avoid him.

I yelled, 'Ass Hole!'

Immediately the radio responded with,



Ladies and gentlemen,

The President of The

United States

Damn I love this truck....

Dr. Walter Williams- o won't lose in 2012!

Dr. alter Williams is a syndicated black conservative writer:


Does this frighten you?








The last comment says it all.

Now, what are your reactions to Walter's prediction???

Ken

PS Ignorant is defined as, unaware of the facts.











NO MATTER WHAT





By Dr. Walter Williams



Can President Obama be defeated in 2012? No... he can't. I am going on record as saying that President Barak Obama will win a second term. The media won't tell you this because a good election campaign means hundreds of millions (or in Obama's case billions) of dollars to them in advertising. But the truth is, there simply are no conditions under which Barak Obama can be defeated in 2012.



The quality of the Republican candidate doesn't matter. Obama gets reelected. Nine percent unemployment? No problem. Obama will win. Gas prices moving toward five dollars a gallon? He still wins. The economy soars or goes into the gutter. Obama wins. War in the Middle East? He wins a second term. America's role as the leading Superpower disappears? Hurrah for Barak Obama! The U.S. government rushes toward bankruptcy, the dollar continues to sink on world markets and the price of daily goods and services soars due to inflation fueled by Obama's extraordinary deficit spending? Obama wins handily.



So... you think I'm crazy? Don't you understand how volatile politics can be when overall economic, government, and world conditions are declining? I sure do. And that's why I know Obama will win. The American people are notoriously ignorant of economics. And economics is the key to why Obama should be defeated. Even when Obama's policies lead the nation to final ruin, the majority of the American people are going to believe the bait-and-switch tactics Obama and his supporters in the media will use to explain why it isn't his fault. After all, things were much worse than we understood when he took office.



Obama's reelection is really a very, very simple math problem. Consider the following:



1) Blacks will vote for Obama blindly. Period. Doesn't matter what he does. It's a race thing. He's one of us,



2) College educated women will vote for Obama. Though they will be offended by this, they swoon at his oratory. It's really not more complex than that,



3) Liberals will vote for Obama. He is their great hope,



4) Democrats will vote for Obama. He is the leader of their party and his coattails will carry them to victory nationwide,



5) Hispanics will vote for Obama. He is the path to citizenship for those who are illegal and Hispanic leaders recognize the political clout they carry in the Democratic Party,



6) Union members will vote overwhelmingly for Obama. He is their key to money and power in business, state and local politics,



7) Big Business will support Obama. They already have. He has almost $1 Billion dollars in his reelection purse gained largely from his connections with Big Business and is gaining more everyday. Big Business loves Obama because he gives them access to taxpayer money so long as they support his social and political agenda,



8) The media love him. They may attack the people who work for him, but they love him. After all, to not love him would be racist!



9) Most other minorities and special interest groups will vote for him. Oddly, the overwhelming majority of Jews and Muslims will support him because they won't vote Republican. American Indians will support him. Obviously homosexuals tend to vote Democratic. And lastly,



10) Approximately half of independents will vote for Obama. And he doesn't need anywhere near that number because he has all of the groups previously mentioned. The President will win an overwhelming victory in 2012.



- Dr. Walter Williams -







The ignorant are going to bury us.

Life has an expiration date... Thanks Luis Flores!

LIFE HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE



This is a story of an aging couple told by their son who was President of NBC NEWS.

This is a wonderful piece by Michael Gartner, editor of newspapers large and small and president of NBC News. In 1997, he won the Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing. It is well worth reading, and a few good chuckles are guaranteed. Here goes...



My father never drove a car. Well, that's not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car.



He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.



"In those days," he told me when he was in his 90s, "to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it."



At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in:

"Oh, bull shit!" she said. "He hit a horse."



"Well," my father said, "there was that, too."



So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors all had cars -- the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none.



My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines , would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.



My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we'd ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none. "No one in the family drives," my mother would explain, and that was that.



But, sometimes, my father would say, "But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we'll get one." It was as if he wasn't sure which one of us would turn 16 first.



But, sure enough , my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown.



It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my brother's car.



Having a car but not being able to drive didn't bother my father, but it didn't make sense to my mother.



So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father's idea. "Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?" I remember him saying more than once.



For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.



Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage.



(Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)



He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin's Church.

She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home.



If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests "Father Fast" and "Father Slow."



After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: "The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored."



If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, "Do you want to know the secret of a long life?"



"I guess so," I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.



"No left turns," he said.



"What?" I asked



"No left turns," he repeated. "Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic..



As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn."



"What?" I said again.



"No left turns," he said. "Think about it.. Three rights are the same as a left, and that's a lot safer. So we always make three rights."



"You're kidding!" I said, and I turned to my mother for support.

"No," she said, "your father is right. We make three rights. It works."

But then she added: "Except when your father loses count."



I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing.



"Loses count?" I asked.



"Yes," my father admitted, "that sometimes happens. But it's not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you're okay again."



I couldn't resist. "Do you ever go for 11?" I asked.



"No," he said " If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can't be put off another day or another week."

My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90.



She lived four more years, until 2003.. My father died the next year, at 102.



They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom -- the house had never had one. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.)



He continued to walk daily -- he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he'd fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising -- and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.



One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news.



A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, "You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred." At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, "You know, I'm probably not going to live much longer."



"You're probably right," I said.



"Why would you say that?" He countered, somewhat irritated.



"Because you're 102 years old," I said..



"Yes," he said, "you're right." He stayed in bed all the next day.



That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night



He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said:

"I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet"



An hour or so later, he spoke his last words:



"I want you to know," he said, clearly and lucidly, "that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have."



A short time later, he died.



I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I've wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long.



I can't figure out if it was because he walked through life,

Or because he quit taking left turns. "



Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

So love the people who treat you right.

Forget about the ones who don't.

Believe everything happens for a reason.

If you get a chance,take it & if it changes your life, let it.

Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it."

ENJOY LIFE NOW - IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE!

Bakken shale oil- North Dakota Thanks Clay vice!

Thanks clay, but I could not open the video.  I am not successful at putting vids on my blog either without my guru, Shawn Baird's, help.

Sam





I crossed western ND a couple months ago and was amazed at all the oil works going on. Williston is booming with Halliburton

and other oil company equipment every where. Hotels are full of workers and trailer courts of 8x30 campers are going in. It is

a real boom town compared to the last time I was there. I didn't understand how they drilled laterally and I appreciate the information.







I think that one reason that it is booming is because much of the drilling is on private land in a business friendly state.







For those of you that haven't been following oil development in North Dakota, the Bakken shale underlies about the western third of the state



and is estimated to contain over 500 Billion barrels. Yes that is



Billion - not a typo. For comparison, Saudia Arabia has 25 billion and Alaska about the same. Recoverable with current technology is apparently 20% although two companies drilled two laterals in the same section in Mountrail County last summer. Up until those, the procedure was to go down vertically in one corner of a section (square mile) and drill horizontally (the lateral) at a diagonal across the section. (The



closing scenes in the video are not Bakken wells - the wells are too close together.) One lateral in each section taps into a very small amount of the shale formation. Multiple laterals in one section may substantially increase the recoverable amounts. I've seen the Bakken crude and seen chemical analyses of it - it is very close to kerosene or diesel fuel - some of the sweetest crude in the world.







Initial production from the Bakken wells ranges from 300 to 2400 barrels



per day depending on location since the shale seems to be different in



different areas.







The Sanish-Three Forks shale is immediately below the Bakken and



underlies all of North Dakota.







The Bears Den shale is below that and it also appears to underlie all of



North Dakota. No estimates on total oil in either of these yet. All



three of these formations extend into Montana and Saskatchewan.







I've seen one article on the Bakken oil developments in the Wall Street



Journal - nothing in any of the other media. Do you suppose that they



fear support for alternative energy development would collapse if the



public knew we have enough oil in North Dakota alone to supply our



country's needs for many years to come?? Apparently they would prefer to cover the prairies with wind farms and the deserts with solar panels.







Despite climategate and some seriously cold weather this winter they are still pushing global warming.







In contrast to most states, North Dakota had $1 Billion surplus last year



that they put into public schools and reduced our property taxes. Mostly



from the severance tax on oil.

Two Brazilians and o

I don't care which way you lean politically............. this is funny






The Dept of Defense briefed the President this morning.




They told President Obama that two Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq . To everyone's surprise, he collapsed onto his desk, head in his hands, visibly shaken, almost in tears. Finally, he composed himself and asked, 'Just how many is a brazilian?'



This is not surprising, since he obviously has no understanding of billion or trillion either.