Your Yearly Dementia Test
It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin...
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else.. Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
2 Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these??? If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.
4. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus. In Reading , 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on. In Swindon , 2 people get off and 4 get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , 3 people get off and 5 people get on. In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven ..
Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own age? It was YOU driving the bus!!
If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you...!!
PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Bob Hope in Heaven... Thanks Patricia Whitehead!
Subject: Fw: Bob Hope in Heaven
BOB HOPE IN HEAVEN
For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your Grandparents .
And thanks for the memories. WHAT A WONDERFUL E-MAIL.
I HOPE THIS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART.
Tribute to a man who DID make a difference.
ON TURNING 70
'You still chase women, but only downhill.'
ON TURNING 80
'That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.'
ON TURNING 90
'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.'
ON TURNING 100
'I don't feel old. In fact , I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.'
ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER,
BOXING
'I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.'
ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR
'Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover'.
ON GOLF
'Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.'
ON PRESIDENTS
'I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.'
ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR
HIS CAREER
'When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, Congratulations, you have an eight pound ham.
ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL
GOLD MEDAL
'I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.'
ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY
'Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.'
ON HIS SIX BROTHERS
'That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.'
ON HIS EARLY FAILURES
'I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.'
ON GOING TO HEAVEN
'I've done benefits for ALL religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.'
Give me a sense of humor Lord, the grace to see a joke and pass it on to others.
BOB HOPE IN HEAVEN
For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your Grandparents .
And thanks for the memories. WHAT A WONDERFUL E-MAIL.
I HOPE THIS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART.
Tribute to a man who DID make a difference.
ON TURNING 70
'You still chase women, but only downhill.'
ON TURNING 80
'That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.'
ON TURNING 90
'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.'
ON TURNING 100
'I don't feel old. In fact , I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.'
ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER,
BOXING
'I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.'
ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR
'Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover'.
ON GOLF
'Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.'
ON PRESIDENTS
'I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.'
ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR
HIS CAREER
'When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, Congratulations, you have an eight pound ham.
ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL
GOLD MEDAL
'I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.'
ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY
'Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.'
ON HIS SIX BROTHERS
'That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.'
ON HIS EARLY FAILURES
'I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.'
ON GOING TO HEAVEN
'I've done benefits for ALL religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.'
Give me a sense of humor Lord, the grace to see a joke and pass it on to others.
The truth... Thanks Vices!
Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house for 5 years.
It is now believed that Bin Laden called the US Navy Seals himself.
It is now believed that Bin Laden called the US Navy Seals himself.
Recycling: A crabby old m,an... Thanks Clay!
I LOVE THIS POEM, IT TELLS THE CIRCLE OF A MANS LIFE AND I AM APPROACHING THE FINAL STAGES.
C.V.
Subject: Fw: A Crabby Old Man
Old guys who know you still see the exceptionally good Portsmouth Clay basketball player and great girls' softball coach along with your wonderful wife, Carol, Mr. Vice! Thanks good friend!
Sam
Enjoy what you have today, for some day in the future you may be just like the Crabby Old Man....That day will be here before you realize it....for sure
A classic
CRABBY OLD MAN
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in Moosomin,
Saskatchewan , it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Alberta.
The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.
And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.
Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses? . . . .. . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . .. . .. . not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . . with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food . . . . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. .. . .. . the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not .. . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . .. . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . you're not looking at me..
I'll tell you who I am. . . .. . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . . .. . . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . .. who love one another.
A young boy of Sixteen . . . . with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . .. . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . .. And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . .. . With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons . . . . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . .. . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . .. My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . . my wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . .. . . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . . . and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
'Tis jest to make old age . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . . . . . a young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . .. . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . .. . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . .. . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . ... . . open and see.
Not a crabby old man . .. . Look closer . . . see ME!!
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.
We will all, one day, be there, too!
PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM
The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart.
C.V.
Subject: Fw: A Crabby Old Man
Old guys who know you still see the exceptionally good Portsmouth Clay basketball player and great girls' softball coach along with your wonderful wife, Carol, Mr. Vice! Thanks good friend!
Sam
Enjoy what you have today, for some day in the future you may be just like the Crabby Old Man....That day will be here before you realize it....for sure
A classic
CRABBY OLD MAN
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in Moosomin,
Saskatchewan , it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Alberta.
The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.
And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.
Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses? . . . .. . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . .. . .. . not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . . with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food . . . . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. .. . .. . the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not .. . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . .. . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . you're not looking at me..
I'll tell you who I am. . . .. . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . . .. . . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . .. who love one another.
A young boy of Sixteen . . . . with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . .. . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . .. And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . .. . With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons . . . . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . .. . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . .. My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . . my wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . .. . . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . . . and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
'Tis jest to make old age . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . . . . . a young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . .. . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . .. . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . .. . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . ... . . open and see.
Not a crabby old man . .. . Look closer . . . see ME!!
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.
We will all, one day, be there, too!
PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM
The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Special poem... Thanks Ramey Sonny Hoskins!
BEAUTIFUL BUT SAD
Daddy's Poem
Her hair was up in a pony tail,
her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.
But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees,
a dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in
back, for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats.
One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
a man who wasn't there.
"Where's her daddy at?"
She heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"
another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day."
The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher, who
told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.
"My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.
"Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart"
With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere there in the crowd
of dads, her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was a right.
And when she dropped her hand back
down, staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.
"I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far.
You see he is an American Soldier
and died just this past year
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy
and taught Americans to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.
And to her mother's amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side.
"I know you're with me Daddy,"
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed, if only for
a moment, by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.
Take the time....to live and love.
Until eternity..
God Bless
There must be many children in the same boat as this little girl, thanks to our servicemen and their families for the sacrifice they are making to keep our country Free.
The ULTIMATE sacrifice is being left behind. Don't forget them.
Daddy's Poem
Her hair was up in a pony tail,
her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.
But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees,
a dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in
back, for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats.
One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
a man who wasn't there.
"Where's her daddy at?"
She heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"
another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day."
The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher, who
told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.
"My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.
"Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart"
With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere there in the crowd
of dads, her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was a right.
And when she dropped her hand back
down, staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.
"I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far.
You see he is an American Soldier
and died just this past year
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy
and taught Americans to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.
And to her mother's amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side.
"I know you're with me Daddy,"
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed, if only for
a moment, by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.
Take the time....to live and love.
Until eternity..
God Bless
There must be many children in the same boat as this little girl, thanks to our servicemen and their families for the sacrifice they are making to keep our country Free.
The ULTIMATE sacrifice is being left behind. Don't forget them.
FW- Moses and the Exodus... Thanks Sarah Rapp!
Subject: Fw: Amazing data on Moses
You may have seen this before
The Exodus is a pretty amazing miracle from several perspectives
This is almost overwhelming when you think about it.
You MUST read to the end: (smile)
Amazing Data on Moses
Moses and the people were in the desert, but what was he going to do with them?
They had to be fed, and feeding 2 or 3 million people requires a lot of food.
According to the Quartermaster General in the Army, it is reported that Moses
would have to have had 1500 tons of food each day. Do you know that to bring
that much food each day, two freight trains, each at least a mile long, would be
required!
Besides you must remember, they were out in the desert, so they would have to
have firewood to use in cooking the food. This would take 4000 tons of wood and
a few more freight trains, each a mile long, just for one day.
And just think, they were forty years in transit.
And Oh yes! They would have to have water. If they only had enough to drink and
wash a few dishes, it would take 11,000,000 gallons each day and a freight train
with tank cars, 1800 miles long, just to bring water!
And then another thing!
They had to get across the Red Sea at night. Now, if they went on a narrow path,
double file, the line would be 800 miles long and would require 35 days and
nights to get through. So there had to be a space in the Red Sea , 3 miles wide
so that they could walk 5000 abreast to get over in one night.
But then, there is another problem...............each time they camped at the
end of the day, a campground two-thirds the size of the state of Rhode Island
was required, or a total of 750 square miles long........Think of it! This much
space for camping.
Do you think Moses figured all this out before he left Egypt ? I think not!
You see, Moses believed in God. God took care of these things for him.
Now do you think God has any problem taking care of all your needs?
I asked the Lord to bless you As I prayed for you today.
To guide you and protect you as you go along your way.
His love is always with you and His promises are true,
If we give Him all our cares, rest assured He'll see us through.
Our God is an Awesome God!!
So when the road you're traveling on seems difficult at best,
just remember, keep on praying, and God will do the rest.
Pass this to people you want God to bless.
You may have seen this before
The Exodus is a pretty amazing miracle from several perspectives
This is almost overwhelming when you think about it.
You MUST read to the end: (smile)
Amazing Data on Moses
Moses and the people were in the desert, but what was he going to do with them?
They had to be fed, and feeding 2 or 3 million people requires a lot of food.
According to the Quartermaster General in the Army, it is reported that Moses
would have to have had 1500 tons of food each day. Do you know that to bring
that much food each day, two freight trains, each at least a mile long, would be
required!
Besides you must remember, they were out in the desert, so they would have to
have firewood to use in cooking the food. This would take 4000 tons of wood and
a few more freight trains, each a mile long, just for one day.
And just think, they were forty years in transit.
And Oh yes! They would have to have water. If they only had enough to drink and
wash a few dishes, it would take 11,000,000 gallons each day and a freight train
with tank cars, 1800 miles long, just to bring water!
And then another thing!
They had to get across the Red Sea at night. Now, if they went on a narrow path,
double file, the line would be 800 miles long and would require 35 days and
nights to get through. So there had to be a space in the Red Sea , 3 miles wide
so that they could walk 5000 abreast to get over in one night.
But then, there is another problem...............each time they camped at the
end of the day, a campground two-thirds the size of the state of Rhode Island
was required, or a total of 750 square miles long........Think of it! This much
space for camping.
Do you think Moses figured all this out before he left Egypt ? I think not!
You see, Moses believed in God. God took care of these things for him.
Now do you think God has any problem taking care of all your needs?
I asked the Lord to bless you As I prayed for you today.
To guide you and protect you as you go along your way.
His love is always with you and His promises are true,
If we give Him all our cares, rest assured He'll see us through.
Our God is an Awesome God!!
So when the road you're traveling on seems difficult at best,
just remember, keep on praying, and God will do the rest.
Pass this to people you want God to bless.
FW- New pistol... Thanks Sarah Rapp!
Subject: New Pistol
Ruger is coming out with a new pistol in
honor of Senators and
Representatives.
It will be named the
"Congressman".
It
doesn't work and you can't fire
it.
Ruger is coming out with a new pistol in
honor of Senators and
Representatives.
It will be named the
"Congressman".
It
doesn't work and you can't fire
it.
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