>
>
>
> Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists
> and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's
> for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has
> made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for
> many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship
> has clearly run its course.
>
> Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what
> is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile
> and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
>
> Here is a model separation agreement:
> --Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking
> a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two
> sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively
> easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets
> since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
>
> --We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
> --You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.--Since you hate guns
> and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
> --We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar
> and biodiesel.
> --You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however,
> responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of
> them.
>
> --We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
> Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
> --You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps,
> homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
> --We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
> --We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood
>
> --You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to
> invade and hammer places that threaten us.
> --You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way
> of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
>
> --We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
> --You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and
> Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying
> the bill.
>
> --We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can
> take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
> --You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
> --We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
> --We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
> --I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the
> World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
>
> --We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle
> up poverty your best shot.
>
> --Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our
> flag.
>
> Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded
> liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.
> In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will
> need whose help in 15 years.
>
> Sincerely,
> John J. Wall
> Law Student and an American
>
> P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen,
> Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.
>
> P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
>
> Forward This Every Time You Get It ! Let's Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It
> Will Start>
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