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The Coyote Story
CALIFORNIA :
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A
coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog.
The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and
then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is
natural.In the process the Governor is bitten by the coyote.
He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the
State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State
$200 testing it for diseases.
The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases
from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a
$100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness
program" for residents of the area.
The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies
and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The
State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special
training regarding the nature of coyotes.
PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against
the State.
TEXAS :
The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote
jumps out and attacks his dog.
The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps
jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS WHY CALIFORNIA IS BROKE AND
TEXAS IS NOT.
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